Ah yes, the ever infamous pun page. You wanted the worst, you got the worst. The greatest, worst jokes ever.
A little background on my punny humor. The english language is wonderful. You can take a
word, bend its meaning just a little, and you have a pun. Here are some examples:
Puns for you computer folks:
You can't backup a hard drive because it doesn't have a reverse gear.
Speaking of computers, *Andy Rooney mode on* Did you ever notice that computers have Hard Drives? Floppy Disks? They need to be booted? You can zip a file, unzip a file and of course there's the handshake. The person responsible must have had some sense of humor. *Andy Rooney mode off*
Other thought provoking puns:
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called "rush hour?"
If procrastinators had a club would they ever have a meeting?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
Have you ever wondered why just one letter makes all the difference between here and there?
When you go into a hotel you always see reception. Why do you never just see ception?
Why is there always one in every crowd?
Is it possible to have deja vu and amnesia at the same time?
Who decided that "Hotpoint" would be a good name for a company that sells refrigerators?
How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes? When they go flat.
Why here in the United States do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway? And why do you have to pay to drive on a freeway?
Why do they call them apartments when they're together?
Why is stuff sent by car called a shipment and stuff sent by ship called cargo?
Why do they call them buildings when they're finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?
If you can tune a piano, why can't you tuna fish? They both have scales.
If a fish and a half cost a cent and a half, what's a boat load come to? A dock.
What do you call an unhappy paper bag? A sad sack.
Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was a salted.
Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?
A guy goes to a psychiatrist. "Doc, I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam; then I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?" The doctor replies: "It's very simple. You're two tents."
There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?", they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
A man goes into a diner everyday and orders eggs benedict, but insists on using a chrome plate. After several weeks of this, the owner finally asks him why. To which the customer replies: "Because, there's no plate like chrome for the hollindaise."
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